Does anyone else ever feel like you take steps forward only to find yourself spiraling backwards? These past few months have been amazing for me (yes, despite the global pandemic). I got married to the love of my life and we bought a house together. I also started juicing and taking care of my body. I should be the happiest person in the world, right?
I am a very emotional person, I can admit that. I feel everything and react emotionally before I would ever react logically. It feels like I have more ups and downs in a day than a person has in a lifetime (a bit of an exaggeration, but you get my point). I am not depressed though, by any means. In fact, I have never been happier. It just feels like I need to feel all of the other emotions instead of just the happy ones. Does that make sense?
For as far back as I can remember, I was dramatic about EVERYTHING. <– even that sentence should prove my point. So, does this need to be dramatic stem from my overly emotional side, or is it something else entirely. Did I just crave the attention that the dramatics brought? And if that is so, is that why, all these years, later, I won’t allow myself to fully be happy?
I am thinking yes..
I am also thinking how ridiculous it is that people like myself are waiting for the “other shoe to drop” instead of living in the moment and allowing yourself to experience pure happiness. It’s funny, right? That us overly dramatic people can’t stop and “smell the roses” without worrying about getting stung by a bee.
If you have read this far, and you can identify yourself with what I am saying, then please keep reading, because I want to share some secrets with you about happiness.
First of all, we are getting there. Maybe it’s baby steps or maybe it’s giants steps, but regardless of how long it takes you to get there, we are getting there.
Not every moment will be easy or will feel like progress, but every chance you give yourself to quiet your mind is getting you there. You can over-worry all you want, but it won’t matter because even though you feel like you can find a solution to every scenario you think up, life still finds a way to surprise you. And that is ok! Take it from me, a self-declared queen of overthinking, you cannot solve EVERYTHING and you do not have control over EVERYTHING.
I hate to say that because I love being in control and yet it is the times where I give up control that I have the most fun. Try it sometime.
Second, you deserve to be happy. ALWAYS. I realize that a person cannot physically be happy every second of every day, but you get my point. When you feel all of the other emotions, that’s okay, just make sure at the end of the day, you can look back at everything and still be able to tell yourself it was a good day.
I know how easy it is to “spiral”, but let’s not use that word anymore. It’s too negative. Let’s just say you are just having an off day. That’s not completely positive, but it’s easier on yourself than “spiraling out of control” sounds. Somedays, you just need to rest and that’s okay. You are still getting there, right?
Thirdly, and most importantly, find yourself a hobby and fall in love with it. For me, that is reading and writing. When I am reading, I shut my mind off and only feel what the author has laid out for me on the pages. And then, when I am done reading for the day, I close my book, turn back on my brain, and feel lighter. All the things I thought were unsolvable problems are less scary.
I started my blog with the hopes that I would write about books to try and show other people how easy it is to fall in love with them. Then life happened and I broke my promise to myself about writing. I lost my hobby and with that I felt lost or incomplete. Sure, I have a damn-near perfect life, but I needed to get back to doing something for me, and friends, that is the most important thing I can stress to you.
DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF. I dare you.
Other people can make you happy, but if you can’t make yourself happy, then you are denying yourself the chance to be truly happy. I know you know this, but sometimes you just need to be reminded.
So whatever it is you love, strive to excel at it. Fall in love with it everyday and, in turn, learn to fall in love with yourself again, too.
We are getting there, right? Yes, I promise.
Comment below steps you have taken to find happiness and how you got there.